“Why am I Rushing?” Questioning the Source of a Particular Urgency
My friend Robbie is a fun-loving and excitable man. He’s always laughing and joking around. When he’s really having fun, his laugh turns into a wild holler that climbs in volume and pitch. In public, people stop and stare. It’s a happy noise, but it can be jarring.
One evening, Robbie caught himself laughing and holler-repeating something funny somebody had just said, and he said (screamed): “Why am I screaming?”
So his husband got him a red t-shirt that says, “Why am I screaming?” And every time he wears it, it’s a charming reminder that things might get happy-loud.
I wonder if we all need a similar shirt that says, “Why am I rushing?”
A pretty good definition of urgency is “ the determination that a situation requires action quickly.”
In our work, we are always dealing with the urgency that has been attached to some task or project. We may do it well or poorly, directly or passive-aggressively, unilaterally or collaboratively, but we are always dealing with urgency in some way.
As we manage urgency day to day, in our own solo work and in a team (and even before we start negotiating deadlines and prioritizing), we can ask one question to understand the urgency first: Where does this urgency come from? (“Why am I rushing?”)
I made a list of the basic sources of urgency.
But before that, here are a few ideas about urgency itself:
Urgency is real. Some things at work are urgent. It is often required that we move fast and finish things as soon as we can.
Urgency is addictive. There is the adrenaline rush that comes from being under pressure and performing. This can lead us to feel dull or even anxious when we are NOT busy.
Urgency can be reassuring. Having urgent things to do, or treating everything as urgent, means we are important and valuable. And if we are valuable we are safe. Many people stay busy to feel useful. (This is fine, unless you want to be less busy.) Many people feel proud of their busy-ness. (This is not so good as a long-term identity thing.)
Urgency is contagious. Like fear and anxiety, the feeling of urgency can catch on from one person to the next. It’s in the air, in the way people talk to each other, and how they do their work.
Urgency can wear you out. If you are rushing around all the time because we feel like (or are told) that everything has to happen quickly, the stress can be bad for you. Some urgency can be good, motivating, and exciting. Too much of it, for too long, will overwhelm.
Back to the question: Where does this urgency come from?
Here are the sources I came up with. None of these are better or worse than the others, but the further down the list you get, the harder it may be to change the established level of urgency.
You yourself.
Urgency is often self-inflicted, which can be good and productive, or it can create unnecessary stress. Sometimes you just want to be done with something. Checking that thing off your to-do list feels good, and it should! Sometimes, self-inflicted urgency is a type of perfectionism. Be wary of perfectionism.
A leader I was talking to recently said that when people come to her stressed out, “It’s hard for people to step back and accept that not everything is urgent.” Another person in that discussion posed a great question for us to consider individually: “What pushes your urgency button?”
A single other person (boss, client, spouse, child).
Some other person decided that this thing is urgent, and it’s between you and that person. There are no other people involved, or it’s just up to you two. If the urgency seems unreasonable or you are busy with other things, you can ask about the urgency, to see if there’s wiggle room. “Do we really have to finish our holiday shopping by this weekend?”
A work team.
Some task or big deliverable is part of the collective work of multiple people, whose tasks and roles are interdependent. The urgency is determined by a big plan that involves many people. If you’re lucky, you have a trained project manager who has planned things out for everyone. (Contingencies! Critical path!)
An external customer, regulator, or other external entity with power.
Taxes! Taxes are due on the same day every year. Your board of directors meeting is on October 12th, and they need this balance sheet and that other report.
These are four sources of urgency. (Let me know if you can think of more.)
Four answers to the question:
“Where does this urgency come from?” Or if you prefer, “Why am I rushing?” Or even the Robbie t-shirt question: “Why am I screaming?”
Once you figure out the source of some urgent task or project or meeting, you know what to do if you want to feel less urgency, or take a break, or put a whole project on the back burner for the next couple months.
The next article I share will be about negotiating urgency, and generally dealing with urgency in a team.