The Power of the Brief Pause

Most people in early 2022 are clinging to the ceiling from stress and worry, while simultaneously all but flat on their backs from burnout. It’s an ugly place to be.

One of the simplest ways to help ourselves get through tough times is the hardest: The short pause in the middle of the fray. The space-out in mid-grind. The solo regroup. A few moments or a few minutes to gather myself.

The brief pause, a moment or a minute or 20 minutes, throughout the day, can save the day.

It’s so simple that it seems dumb for me to write about it. But I’m doing it, with a doodle illustration and everything, for one reason: Almost everyone I work with in my teaching and coaching work needs a reminder. We don’t (“We” because I’m working on this) allow ourselves these brief pauses.

This brief pause is not the same thing as a moment of distraction and escape.

A moment of turning our attention elsewhere is also necessary and can be quite fun. That escape, or “numbing” as Brene Brown calls it, gives different benefits from a brief break. (Brene is cool with numbing, by the way, if we do it consciously and understand what we want from it.) The brief pause is a time with no inputs. No online shopping or looking at social media or watching a quick cute animal video. I’m on a run of those extreme stray dog rescue glow-ups myself.

A few reasons why a brief pause, productive procrastination if you will, is good for you:

A brief pause reduces stress. If you are paying attention, you can identify what exactly is stressing you out and either start thinking of a solution or acknowledge the stress to help it subside.
A brief pause lets your thoughts settle. We all do this. We have lots of conflicting ideas, or no ideas at all but just emotions. Then in the shower, or walking the dog, a new lead or a healthier perspective arrives. (But if I’m listening to podcasts while walking the dog, something I like to do some days, that audio input prevents or slows the thought-settling.)
A brief pause makes room for better ideas, including ideas for a compromise when you are in conflict with someone. This pause allows time to respond rather than simply react reflexively. The pause can be the difference between speaking in anger or taking offense at something someone said, and responding calmly and generously.
Most of all, a brief pause helps us be healthier humans. A pause preserves and refreshes energy. A brief pause allows us to be humans with bodies and minds that need breaks to conserve and refresh our energies.

Longer breaks are crucial for humans too, of course. Vacations are necessary. In early 2022, I know three people personally who quit their jobs recently with no new job lined up. They can afford time off to figure out what’s next. That’s a bold move, the ultimate work-related pause for people who can afford it, or who just really need it.

Brief pauses, on the other hand, can fit pretty much anywhere within a day. I will call a brief pause in the middle of a conversation, if the other people are willing. You can say: “Is it okay if we sit quietly for a moment?” Or request just for yourself: “Let me think quietly for a moment.” It feels weird the first time you do it, because silence in a meeting or in any conversation can feel like a problem instead of another way to work together.

Still not sure you can slow down enough to use brief pauses? One way to give yourself permission is to assess the actual level of urgency. “Does this situation require an immediate response? Is this thing I’m doing or worrying about urgent?” If you have till the end of the day, or another week, the answer is No, take a pause. Take a break. Turn down the heat on yourself.

We could try out a new mantra even: Stay strong. Pause frequently.